I don’t tend to be a gal who revels in drama. Actually… I’m so impatient and annoyed by petty shit, that I cut people out of my life completely when they posses these traits. It’s just not worth the angst for me. I have, however; learned that I have a flair for the melodrama. This could be because I always had a hard time showing emotions in the first place that I was only capable of exaggerated gestures.
Today, my experiences force me to think about December 2008, or New Year’s 2009. My significant other and I had been together a little over 3 years at this point, and we were on seismic wavelength— peaks of highs and lows. I’d broken up with him due to irrational behavior so many times, and I was exhausted.
During the holidays, I’d gotten two weeks off. Two weeks that we spent together 24/7. But, before these two weeks arrived, I’d already decided, we were done. I wanted to spend two whole blissful weeks with him. I wanted our end to be remembered as a good time, then whatever explosive and sometimes stale situation we had before. And so, those two weeks came and went; and they were in fact successfully blissful. The evening before I would leave his house and return to work; I silently cried with him beside me. He asked me what was wrong; and so I said it; when I leave in the morning, I’m not coming back. This isn’t working, we’re not working, and I’m done.
His initial reaction was to point out the bullshit move I was just pulling (he was right). I remember him saying something along the lines of; “we’ve spent a great two weeks together, and you have to ruin it with this shit?” He also added that I say it’s over now… but we’d surely be back in that bed next week breaking up again… this is what set off the last talk we had about our relationship before we broke up the following year. I pointed out my unhappiness and dissatisfaction— he too aired his grievances. And then, I remember closing with— there is no more breaking up and getting back together— that’s not the wishy-washy person I’ve been in the past. The next time we break up, it’ll be permanent; and it was.
I’m back in this place; and it hasn’t been wishy-washy— but it’s got it flair attached to it.
